


Already Dead

by KEQ993 (Ellie993)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:42:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26991592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie993/pseuds/KEQ993
Summary: I'm one of those people who have wee snatches of ideas when out and about doing something. This time I was cleaning my bathroom and it all started with a couple of sentences ..."Why break and kill your enemies? When you can make them?""Make them? Make them what?""Anything, anything I want them to be."
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

"Why don't you just kill me already? That's you're plan isn't it?" Demanded Clarke forcing herself to remain calm, despite the fact that her body ached horrifically in the cold. The pain of every cut, bruise, slice, and the wounds inflicted in the Ice dungeons made her want to cry and scream in agony. But instead, she raised her head in defiance meeting the manic gaze of the Ice Queen.

The answering manic cackle made the hair on Clarke's body rise and she fought the shiver of fear that fought to show itself.

"You're a brave one. I'll give you that. There have been renown warriors who have broken from a lot less than what you have endured during your stay." The Ice Queen's harsh voice echoed eerily against the bare walls. "And there was a time, that I would have done just that." She finished and Clarke could hear it in her voice how much she had enjoined torturing her and the others who had come before her.

"Really it was only after I killed that bitch's stupid whore that I realized something." She finished, laughter filling her tone as she swayed on her feet, her grime coated long fingers wrapping tightly around the bars of Clarke's cell.

"Why break and kill your enemies? When I can make them!" She whispered as though sharing a secret. If Clarke didn't know better she would think the Ice Queen was drunk, she wasn't making any sense.

"Make them? Make them what?" Clarke asked lips stiff with a growing sense of panic threatened to consume her

"Anything, anything I want them to be." She whispered smiling as she stepped back unsteadily.

"You're mine now," Nia whispered as she stepped back into the shadows.

Gasping, panic building with every inhale she pulled in. One breath on top of another. Her chest rising faster as her breath whistled in her throat.

"No..." Clarke mumbled to herself as she stumbled forward grabbing the cell bars in her hands she began shaking the rigid bars, but there was no give to them.

"NO!" Clarke shouted as her breaths came faster as her panic overcame everything.

"Just kill me. I'M ALREADY DEAD. JUST KILL ME!" Clarke screamed as she hyperventilated, black spots dancing warningly across her sight, her legs threatening to buckle, the punishing grip of her hands on the bars the only thing that seemed to be keeping her upright.

Her breathing by this point was erratic, her legs buckled and the last thing she heard as she hit the ground and darkness consumed everything was the sound of manic laughter bouncing off the cold stone walls of the dungeon.


	2. The Horrors I've Committed

Clarke didn’t know how long it had been since she left Bellamy at the gates of the ark’s crash sight. All she knew was that the sun had set and risen a handful of times.

But during that time frame, Clarke had wandered aimlessly through the forests, not paying attention to her surroundings or even stopping to attempt to gather supplies or feed herself.

Her breaths sawed in her dry throat and her empty stomach cramped in protest at the lack of sustenance.

But she paid no attention to her body’s attempts to convey its needs. How could she even think of eating when just the smell of a burning fire made her mouth flood with saliva and her stomach heave warningly from the memories of burning flesh.

And when her body protested that she would not take another step, she dropped to the ground and huddled within her lightweight jacket for warmth.

It was at night when she allowed herself these brief moments of rest that her mind would return to that night at Mount Weather.

She would relive Lexa’s betrayal, over and over again. She would meet those green eyes and feel her heart sink as she remembered her justification of accepting Wallace’s goddamn deal and her final words as she turned her back on Clarke and walked away.

She would skim over the memories of the tunnel, the arguments with Octavia, Miller’s silent yet judging look, even seeing Bellamy alive flitted through her mind.

Not even the relief of finding the others alive in the dormitory would stop the building sense of dread in her stomach.

It was only when she was back in that control room, did her thoughts slow. And she would relive every moment that followed.

* * *

_Clarke quietly gave Monty the order to access Mount weather's system and asked him to locate and gain access to the vents in order to irradiate the whole mountain._

_Even before Monty gasped 'What?" Clarke could see the horror in his eyes._

_"It's just a precaution, Monty. It ensures that Dante and Cage know how serious I am and listens to me." Clarke responded softly but quickly._

_"Can't you just bluff?" Miller questioned, shock apparent in his tone._

_"No. I can't, I won't bluff. I need them to know I'm being serious. If we want to get all our people out of here they need to know that I'll do whatever it takes. Even if it means doing the unthinkable."_

_Miller nodded in agreement, nudging Monty's shoulder. The fast typing that followed was Monty's confirmation of following out her order without speaking. And while Monty typed, Miller and Bellamy quickly locked and barricaded the door before the boys returned to stand alongside Clarke and Octavia standing behind Monty who was seated in front of the many screens._

_Speaking into one of the radios, Clarke called out to Mount Weather's appointed President._

_"Dante Wallace, President Dante Wallace, come in, this is Clarke Griffin speaking.'' She watched as Dante reached out a shaking hand towards a soldier who reluctantly turned over his radio following the President's furious glare._

_But it was Dante's son Cage who snatched it from the soldier's hand and it was only then that Clarke recognized the soldier, it was Karl Emerson._

_"The infamous Clarke Griffin has returned to Mount Weather, we’re honored.”_

_“Release the remaining delinquents and the people of the Ark or I’ll have no choice but to irradiate this entire mountain."_

_On the Camera, Clarke watched as Cage glared accusingly at Emerson as though he’d failed somehow._

_“Now you see, I can’t do that. Your people's bone marrow is my people's only way to freedom, and seeing as I have 48 targets to choose from, I believe it’s actually me, that’s in the position to be giving orders. And as for threatening my people, even if I believed you had hacked our systems in order to accomplish that. I just don't believe you have it in you to kill an entire group of people in cold blood.”_

_"Then you clearly have no idea who I am. This wouldn't be the first time I've had to kill a group of people. You have no idea what I'm capable of.” Clarke growled warningly._

_Suddenly Dante Wallace began to speak. "I know it's hard to understand, Clarke. It's something I'm not proud of, but it's necessary in order for my people to survive. We take no pleasure in it. Some both in the past and present refuse the treatment." He beseeched._

_"Necessary!" Demanded Clarke furiously._

_"Kidnapping hundreds of grounders, hundreds more than necessary to survive. Draining them of their blood completely and killing them. Turning others into mindless monsters. And what about the harvesting of the 48, taking every drop of our bone-marrow, killing us in the process. That's not survival, that’s murder!"_

_"Clarke we have not and will not harvest the 48's Bone-marrow, despite the fact that your bone-marrow is a permanent cure for our radiation intolerance. The 48, are completely unlike the primitive grounders. You are like us, civilized. For god-sake you're all under eighteen, still minors. You are all children. I'd never condone harming any of you."_

_"That's not what I heard Dr. Tsing saying, she said that Wallace had confirmed the bone-marrow treatment was a successful cure and that the harvesting of the 48 would take place tonight!"_

_Monty tapped her shoulder distracting her briefly then nodded at her seriously before pointing to the lever beside her. It was done, he had gained access to the vents, all she had to do was pull down the lever, this would reverse the scrubbers in the vents and pull the outside radiation soaked air inside the mountain._

_"So this is how things are going to happen. You're going to release all the remaining 48 delinquents, the people of the Ark you've captured as well as the group of grounders still huddled in those cages behind the medical ward, otherwise, I'll pull this lever in front of me and irradiate this entire mountain."_

_Clarke forced herself to continue calmly._

_"If everyone is released, in the following weeks' volunteers will come forward giving the bone-marrow required in order for your people to be cured."_

_Clarke watched as Dante turned to look at his son, anger, and horror obvious on his face, and thanks to Monty's hacking the microphones within the camera's she didn't have to rely upon the radio to hear what they were saying._

_"What have you done, Cage? Clarke heard Dr. Tsing say, Wallace, I wasn't the Wallace she was talking about. I knew you two were getting too close. What were you planning? For god sake, they're still children, children in our care."_

_Clarke watched as Dante spun back to face the camera his back to his son before he spoke to her again through the radio._

_"I swear to you Clarke I had nothing to do with the planning of the harvesting of the 48. I'll order that all of the remaining 48 will be immediately released and in a few weeks once the beginning of the harvesting of the volunteers' bone-marrow begins, I will begin to order the remaining captive members of the ark and the grounders to be released as well."_

_Before Clarke could agree, she watched in horror as Cage who stood behind his father raised his arm, pointing a gun at his father's back. Clarke didn't even have a chance to call out a warning before the blast of the gun echoed through the speakers and the radio._

_Clarke watches numbly in shock as Cage leaned down and retrieved the radio from his father's clasping hand as he bled out._

_"No Deal, I promise you this, you stupid little girl. I will ensure the survival of my people even if it means I have to drain the bone-marrow out of every single one of the 48 and any other survivors of the Ark."_

_" If you even dare to try, I swear I'll irradiate the mountain." Clarke gasps out shakily._

_Clarke can't help the shiver that wrecks her body as Cage laughs maniacally into the radio._

_"I don't think so, Clarke. You couldn't do that. You don't have it in you. Hell maybe you'll be the first to be harvested or better yet I'll save you for the last. I promise you, little girl, I'll make you watch as the other members of your precious 48 and any other Ark survivors are harvested. Then you'll beg me to end you."_

_Clarke realized with growing horror that with Cage now in charge after he had just murdered his father in cold blood, that he would never stop. Not until he wipes out everyone else who was not from the mountain. After all, he's already doing it with the grounders, taking more than needed to treat radiation exposure. And Clarke knew by the look in his eyes, he'd keep his promise, no one outside the mountain would be safe._

_With silent tears filling her eyes, spilling free and trailing down her face. Clarke reaches out blindly, grabbing the lever quickly before the reality of what she's doing hits, and jerks the lever down._

_She does it quickly with as little warning as possible before Monty or the others could do or say anything. Clarke couldn't stop the shaking that overtakes her body, from head to toe as she hears the alarms blur and red lights begin to flash alarmingly._

_Everything in her demanded that she close her eyes, that she look away from the horror unfolding throughout the different areas of the mountain. But Clarke forced herself to keep her eyes glued to the monitors. And she forced herself to watch as the people of Mount Weather, both the guilty and the innocent alike, begin to fall to the ground._

_The so many ignorant and innocent people and children began to drop, one by one, writhing in pain to the floors, even without the sound-activated on the cameras Clarke knows by their faces that it is an unbelievable agony that they are experiencing as they die._

_Her eyes were drawn to the dining room on level five where she watched as Jasper cradled Maya in his arms as she died._

* * *

Gasping Clarke pushed herself upright and found herself sitting in a pile of crunchy leaves. She felt detached and disorientated as her gaze bounced around in a blind panic before she remembered that she was no longer back in the mountain.

Pressing her hands to her face Clarke sobbed as she shivered uncontrollably. But even as she pushed herself to her feet and began walking again, she couldn't stop her brain from recalling the events which immediately followed the destruction of the Mountain and the people who called it their home.

* * *

_It took everything in Clarke not to crumble as she exited the control room alongside Bellamy, Octavia, Monty, and Miller. Her first priority was to ensure that the other members of the 48 were unharmed, the majority of which were last seen entering the dining room._

_Monty has broadcasted a message over the P.A system to the scattered members of the 48 for them to assemble at the doors to the fifth level dining room._

_As Clarke and the others exited the elevator on the fifth level, everything within Clarke rebelled against her entering that room, of becoming submerged within the full horror of her decision._

_Despite Monty launching the program to initiate the shutting down of the radiation alarm system, the blaring of the alarms and the red flashing lights were still going on and seemed to encase Clarke within a bubble, separate from everything._

_There was nothing Clarke could think to say as she watched as the other members of the 48 stumbled between the dead bodies of the mountain men. Without acknowledging her decision, Clarke found herself standing in front of Jasper who was still kneeling on the ground cradling Maya in his arms._

_Clarke would never forget the grief and fury which filled Jasper's gaze. "I-I didn't have a choice, Jasper." Clarke croaked out, silently pleading yet knowing his understanding would not be granted to her._

_"You_ **_Didn't_ ** _have a choice. You did this! You killed all these innocent people." Jasper yelled as he stood, before Clarke could blink, he raised his hand and backhanded Clarke across her right cheek._

_Pain exploded across her cheekbone, before the shock could fade, several members of the 48 had already started shouting as they grabbed and pulled Jasper away from Clarke._

_Before Jasper could attempt to fight free from the restraining hands that held him. Monty stepped in front of Clarke, keeping himself firmly between her and Jasper, and spoke hurriedly._

_"It wasn't like that, Jasper." Monty pleaded before continuing quickly. "They were going to kill us all, just like they've been doing with the grounders. They already killed David finding out our bone-marrow is a cure for radiation intolerance. They were planning on doing the same to us, starting tonight."_

_Clarke couldn't stop the fresh tears that spilled from her eyes as she silently begged Jasper to understand, as she held her hand lightly to her throbbing right cheek._

_"Cage swore he wouldn't stop, Jasper. That he would drain us all, and any ark survivors he found. I couldn't let him become cured against the effects of the radiation, I couldn't let him loose, free on the ground to do god knows what else, to anyone he came in contact with."_

_Gasping Clarke spoke loudly so that the other survivors could hear the truth about the horrors of the mountain's secrets that she'd discovered._

_"The mountain men were already kidnapping hundreds of grounders, draining them of their blood, in order to treat radiation exposure, killing them in the process. They were drugging others, turning them into cannibalistic monsters. They had already killed David Stephens, they experimented on him and figured out our bone-marrow cures them of their inability to withstand the outside radiation soaked air."_

_Miller broke in speaking calmly and firmly, "Clarke tried to negotiate with President Wallace for ours and the remaining imprisoned grounders release in exchange for volunteers to donate their bone marrow. Cage Wallace shot his father in the back, he killed him in cold blood. He swore to Clarke he would never stop, that he'd make her watch as he drained every drop of the bone-marrow from us and any other Ark survivors found."_

_The others began nodding, first in acknowledgment then agreement as Miller finished speaking firmly, "Clarke didn't have a choice. She did what she had to, to protect us, protect all of us, the 48, the Ark survivors, even the grounders from the horrors that the mountain men would carry out once they were free on the ground."_

_Clarke gasped as she realized that there was still a group of grounders being held and imprisoned in the cages. Despite the deal they had made with the Commander, they had not kept to their terms and released all those they had imprisoned, and amongst them was Anya. Anya who had despite her mistrust of Clarke and The Skaikru had given Clarke her braid to give the Commander to help facilitate a truce while remaining behind to ensure Clarke escaped._

_"I-I have to go," Clarke spoke suddenly, spinning away._

_Miller grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving before she could take a few steps._

_"Go where Clarke?" Miller demanded, worry obvious in his voice._

_"The Grounders, there's still a group of them in the cages, I saw them on the monitors, they're still being held as prisoners. I promised everyone would be freed from the mountain. When I first escaped this mountain, when Anya gave me her braid and remained behind to ensure I escaped, I promised her I would come back for her, she's still in that cage, I saw her on the monitor. I have to keep my promise."_

_Miller's shock was obvious and his whispered reply might as well have been a shout in the deafening silence. "Even after the Commander betrayed us?"_

_Nodding, Clarke swallowed convulsively. "They're human beings, they may be grounders but they've been held prisoner in those cages for god knows how long, treated like nothing more than animals. If we have it in our power to free them, why wouldn't we?"_

_Even before Clarke finished speaking, Miller was already nodding in agreement before he silently ushered Clarke out of the dining room._

_"I'm coming with you," Miller said firmly when Clarke hesitated in the doorway, no opportunity to argue, just a nod between him and Bellamy conveying silently instructions that he is in charge of gathering the remaining Skaikru survivors._

_Clarke desperately forced herself not to focus on the bodies of the dead strewn throughout the hallways as she and Miller traveled through the labyrinth of the Mountain, back towards Medical. They would have to be dealt with. But the dead could wait, the living, especially the grounders, had waited long enough._

_But first, she had a promise to keep. She couldn't save the innocents of the mountain men, those who refused treatment, and the children. God she couldn't even begin to think about the children right now._

_So she would keep her promise and free the grounders._

_Both she and Miller came to an abrupt halt just inside medical. Several of the beds were still occupied, all of whom at the time of their death were undergoing treatment. Even the continued blood transfusion of grounder blood could not counter-act the fatal and continued effects of radiation exposure._

_Clarke quickly retrieved a security pass from one of the deceased medical staff members. She guided Miller to the concealed door in the wall, swiping the card, the buzz to register access granted sharply broke the eerie silence now that the radiation warning system had finally shut down._

_She stopped after pulling the door open off the latch. "I'd brace yourself if I were you, Miller. What they've done to them. It's inhumane."_

_As soon as they entered the hidden room, they see the two grounders' bodies hanging upside down. Beyond them they see Dr. Tsing's body lying in the center of the floor between the two rows of the nearest block of cages._

_The remaining grounders were going nuts inside the cages shaking the bars, shouting, and desperately stretching out trying to reach the ring of keys which lay beyond Dr. Tsing's reach in the middle of the floor facing the door Clarke and Miller had entered through._

_Clarke quickly raced forwards, retrieving the keys, and hurried towards the cages. Without thought, she went straight to Anya's cage. Miller trailing behind her._

_Clarke fumbled with the keys as she tried the smallest of the keys in the padlocks, finally, she located the right key that unlocked the padlock holding the cage locked and pulls the door open. She reached in, grasping Anya's hand, oblivious to the shock and silence which is spreading through the grounders._

_Anya is so weak from blood loss that she stumbles into Clarke's side. Once she's free from the cage and struggles to stand upright after regaining her bearings, Miller gasps in shock._

_Before Clarke can reprimand Miller, he shrugs out of his jacket and slowly approaches them, before wearily wrapping his jacket around Anya's bruised and bared form, she was naked beside the greying and ratty bindings over her breasts and between her legs._

_As realization hits, Clarke quickly speaks to Miller. "Can you go and get any sheets or blankets you can find from medical. There should be loads of spares in the storage cupboard in medical and the corridor outside it. Then come back here as quickly as you can and help me free the rest?"_

_"Sure thing, Princess," Miller responded seriously, but the twinkle in his eye, lets her know his use of the ridiculous name was deliberate. It was an attempt to rile up some kind of lighter response than her current continued sense of numb seriousness._

_Clarke watches as Miller quickly turns to get more blankets. She can feel Anya's serious gaze locked on her face. As Clarke turns to face her, the horror of what she had done to ensure she kept her promises hits her again._

_Clarke numbly mumbles to Anya, keeping her gaze locked on her face. "I made you a promise. I told you I would come back for you, for all of you. And I kept that promise."_

_She can see the confusion in Anya's eyes and dreads answering the question she knows Anya's going to ask._

_"How… what happened to her?" Anya croaks, her voice breaking from disuse, as she points at Dr. Tsing's dead body._

_Clarke swallows deeply before answering, her voice echoing in the silence that has once again fallen over the imprisoned grounders._

**_"The same thing that happened to all of them, I killed them."_ **

* * *

"Oh God, I killed them all," Clarke whispered aloud to herself in the darkness of the night.

The 200 Trikru warriors were killed in a war, she was defending her people from being slaughtered. But the mountain. God how did she justify committing genocide.

Sobbing Clarke crumpled to her knees, cupping her hands to her head, she dug her nails painfully into her scalp.

"This sobbing mess is Wanheda." A voice she didn't recognize broke through the air of the silent night.

Stumbling upright in fright, Clarke fumbled for her gun, tucked in the back of her trousers. Before her fingers could brush the cold metal, her arm was wrenched back painfully and twisted up her back.

The weight of the gun against the small of her back vanished and she heard a thump in the bushes as it was thrown away.

"It is. But remember what she is capable of. Appearances can be deceptive Johan." A woman's voice spoke from behind her

"The Azkwin commands you appear before her, Klark Kom Skaikru. And when the Kwin demands something, well... I'm sure you can guess." Clarke remained silent but she felt her heart sink heavily in her chest.

Lexa had said the Ice Queen was cruel and ruthless. If the person who betrayed her without a second thought had described someone like that without flinching, what kind of monster was she about to meet.


End file.
